If You’re Looking for Hotels With Lazy Rivers in North Myrtle Beach, We’ve Got You
It grieves us to have to write this blog, but we’ve heard some people report of late that North Myrtle Beach has lots of hotels with lazy rivers. We aren’t sure why these rivers are lazy, but why things are the way they are is outside the purview of Salty Frye’s Golf Carts blog. We can only deal with what IS, not WHY IT ISN’T.
We are a little confused by this news because these are world class hotels and resorts and it’s not like them to tolerate imperfection. To be labeled as one of the hotels with lazy rivers is catastrophic, we would think.
While the Mississippi River burns along at 4 mph, carrying goods, here these rivers with no work ethic babble around in circles accomplishing nothing. In fairness, we’ve all been guilty of going around in circles and never making any progress in life? But we don’t advertise it! Here are 16 hotels with lazy rivers. They said so themselves.
We’re going to list 17 hotel/resort/plantation/inn/club/villas to save you some time in case you want to go check out these shenanigans yourself. We’ll focus on the Laziest 6 here. As usual, these are in a particular order. We’re just not going to tell you what it is.
For starters, Seaside has a jacuzzi tub in every room. That alone would be a dream for someone from a wasteland of sand with no ocean like Arizona where it’s so hot the story of Hansel and Gretel feels like nonfiction. That’s, well, sorry. It’s just that Arizona calls itself the golf mecca of North America, so we like to remind people that here in the Grand Strand region we have spectacular golfing, too, as well as Salty Frye’s Golf Carts. At any rate, Seaside offers indoor and outdoor pools, with two hot tubs, and admits to having a very lazy pool.
There are two distinctives of the Prince Resort. One is that it has two towers, each with water fun, totaling two pools plus a kiddie pool, a mushroom fountain sort of thing that looks really cool, and FOUR hot tubs, just in case you need to boil a hundred lobsters. The second feature that sets it apart is its proximity to the Cherry Grove Pier, which is so close we can land a golf ball on it. By the way, did you know everything is a golf course if you’re willing to pay a small fee (some call it a fine)? And when you’re there in charming Cherry Grove, check out Basil’s. Their pizza made it onto our Best Pizza in North Myrtle Beach blog post.
Okay, well we are taking it up a notch or two here in luxury. We won’t bother you with the details of the onsite spa or premier steak house or their tailored golf packages or the wonderfully unnecessary amenities. Instead we feel compelled to address the outrageous poolscape with many oceanfront pools, fountains, and a swim up bar! There’s also an indoor pool for the beach rookies that didn’t wear enough sunblock on the first day. Oh, and it’s another one of the many hotels with lazy rivers. Enjoy the Caribbean-themed design and opulent aesthetics as you pamper yourself like the Kardashians in a rap video.
Like the Prince, Seawatch has two towers and tons of features. TEN hot tubs cover the shame of having two lazy rivers. There are also SIX oceanfront pools. This is silly. Plus each room comes with a private balcony with which to look down on all the peasants at the North Beach Plantation. Just kidding, the Plantation is not even close. But do you know what is close? Nothing less than four restaurants, an arcade for the kids and their fathers, and a short drive to Barefoot Landing. Speaking of kids, Seawatch is famous for its Loggerhead Beach, which is stacked with fun activities like a rock wall, slides, ping pong, and more. They even have a year round program for crafts and games for kids. If you’re interested, check out our blog posts about best family friendly hotels and area outdoor activities.
Avista is aptly named because looking out a window you will see quite a vista. Sorry, that was cheesy. Speaking of cheese, did you know Avista has several on site eateries? It’s true. And it’s also true that the resort is located on the beach and near Main Street in North Myrtle Beach at the same time. In addition to being in prime location, the resort also has two lazy rivers, two hot tubs, two pools, and a kiddie pool outdoors on a sweet pool deck, and a pool and hot tub indoors. This place is one of the most popular hotels with lazy rivers in the North Myrtle Beach area for a reason. Check it out before you make a decision.
Ding, Ding. We have a winner of the Laziest River contest. The Beach Cove Resort ironically boasts of its 350 ft. river of sluggish water. They also offer a large pool deck with FOUR hot tubs in case The Prince has too many lobsters. Add that to the three heated pools, an indoor pool, and a sauna for those people who really wanted to sweat more but needed higher humidity than Arizona could offer, and suddenly you have the perfect fit here at Beach Cove.
There are too many great establishments - despite possessing a lazy river - that we just can’t do them all justice. So why even try? Wait, that’s not what we meant. Here’s a list of eleven other high quality hotels with lazy rivers:
Atlantic Breeze Ocean Resort
Castaway Beach Inn & Swim Up Bar
Mar Vista Grande
Ocean Bay Club
Best Western Ocean Sands Resort
Shore Crest Vacation Villas
Towers on the Grove
Towers at North Myrtle Beach
Ocean Drive Beach and Golf Resort
Wyndham Ocean Boulevard
Many people still value hard work and you’re probably one of them. You’ve sacrificed time with family and golf, working about 50 weeks a year - and then you had to burn one whole week of vacation on things selfishly planned by others, such as weddings and funerals. Now, you’re just looking for a river as lazy as you want to be. We get it. So come on down to North Myrtle Beach. Play at the beach, shop, listen to live music, partake of our restaurants and wine bars and brewpubs, and also don’t forget to rent a golf cart. When you rent a golf cart, contact us at Salty Frye’s. We’ve told you all we know about hotels with lazy rivers, but we haven’t begun to tell you about how cool it is to drive around in a golf cart. Let’s chat!